“What’s Love Got to Do With It?” - A Blog on Divorce
“What’s Love Got to Do With It?” Everything! This is especially true if you are the one left behind after divorce to pick up the pieces of your life all the while still in love with your ex. Broken relationships bring about deep pain. It is an all too common form of grief and loss - especially if you didn’t want the relationship to end, or if you were deeply wounded or betrayed in the process. After all, the wounds of a friend are often the most painful.
For the one who doesn’t want it, divorce leaves a massive void in their life. Where love and respect once ruled; now loneliness, isolation, anger, hurt, and pain set in, all at the same time! It is overwhelming at times! We lose our best friend, our partner, our confidant, our soulmate, and our lover. We miss the laughter, the quiet moments at home, the family gatherings, and the beautiful memories of happier times. With this, also comes the loss of hopes, dreams, goals, financial support, and a future spent with someone who once was our favorite person to be around. In addition, we often lose our ex-spouse’s extended family, people we grew to love. Many times, friendships ‘take sides’ - often without knowing the truth. It is as if our whole lives are turned upside down. It is painful, to say the least. I have been there and speak from experience.
If children are involved, divorce makes life even more painful. Mommy and Daddy were supposed to stay together forever and to be the leaders of the home. Children often have a very difficult time processing their emotions during (and long after) this time. They may need counseling or coaching to help them understand. Most of all, they need both parents to stay involved in their lives and to cooperate for the children’s well-being. This is often very hard and very painful.
There is always, however, HOPE! Healing can occur. Because of all of the initial raw emotions that an unwanted, painful divorce can cause, divorce must be processed. You can get counseling. You can get coaching. Through coaching, I can help you achieve the ‘completion’ of that relationship so that you can learn to love and trust again. It is possible to completely heal, grow, and to give your best to the next relationship, to your children, and to yourself. You deserve to be happy and whole once again!
Most importantly, you need to begin to heal by forgiving. Do they deserve it? Not always. Forgiveness is a CHOICE that WE make so that WE can be free. The feelings of forgiveness will follow the choice of forgiving. Often this doesn’t happen spontaneously or immediately. Forgiveness is imperative to being able to love again and to be free from the hurt and pain so that the pain of the former relationship doesn’t infiltrate the new relationship.
Contact me today to help you through this pain. My own experiences, the wisdom that I have learned, and the program called, The Grief Recovery Method are excellent tools to help you find ‘completion’ of that former relationship so that you can truly live your best life once again. You WILL heal. You WILL love again. You WILL have that hope and a future. Don’t stay stuck. Don’t live in pain, regret, anger, or grief. Find your new beginning today! After all, LOVE has everything to do with it!